Things that make the ED team go “Hmmm”.

Ever been in triage or taking a medical history, and all seems to be going well until one of the following phrases makes you go “Hmmm”?

I couldn’t get an appointment with my GP until Friday.

I was visiting someone in the hospital, and thought I would see a doctor while I was here.

I just don’t feel right.

My employer said I should get checked out by ED.

I’ve been on Google.

My GP said if I’m not better by the weekend to go straight to ED.

I need an X-ray/blood test/scan.

I thought I’d get checked out just in case.

The x ray was normal but it still feels broken.

My GP says it’s all in my head.

I can’t find my salbutamol inhaler.

Do you think I can still work?

I wish I didn’t have to keep coming here.

The last time I had a mild cough I needed antibiotics.

I have to get a bus/taxi/train to see my GP.

The only thing that works is Morphine.

I’ve just wet myself and can’t stand up properly, so I think my drinks must have been spiked.

I have a high pain threshold.

I’ve got pins and needles in both of my arms.

I knew someone who had a headache and it turned out to be a brain tumour.

My pain is at least 10/10.

My GP is on vacation.

I’ve got multiple drug allergies.

I have diagnosed myself with Celiac’s Disease.

Someone stole my benzo/opiate prescription.

I’m allergic to Paracetamol.

All 5 of my children have ADHD, my latest partner has PTSD, and I need something stronger for my back pain.

My GP said I needed to go to ED. so I drove myself straight down.

The doctors have done every test possible, yet they still can’t find what’s wrong with me.



Andrew Hull

Andrew works in Emergency Care, and enjoys the more humorous side of his work. He believes you cannot survive emergency medicine without a warped sense of humour.

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