Things that make the ED team go “Hmmm”.

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Ever been in triage or taking a medical history, and all seems to be going well until one of the following phrases makes you go “Hmmm”?

I couldn’t get an appointment with my GP until Friday.

I was visiting someone in the hospital, and thought I would see a doctor while I was here.

I just don’t feel right.

My employer said I should get checked out by ED.

I’ve been on Google.

My GP said if I’m not better by the weekend to go straight to ED.

I need an X-ray/blood test/scan.

I thought I’d get checked out just in case.

The x ray was normal but it still feels broken.

My GP says it’s all in my head.

I can’t find my salbutamol inhaler.

Do you think I can still work?

I wish I didn’t have to keep coming here.

The last time I had a mild cough I needed antibiotics.

I have to get a bus/taxi/train to see my GP.

The only thing that works is Morphine.

I’ve just wet myself and can’t stand up properly, so I think my drinks must have been spiked.

I have a high pain threshold.

I’ve got pins and needles in both of my arms.

I knew someone who had a headache and it turned out to be a brain tumour.

My pain is at least 10/10.

My GP is on vacation.

I’ve got multiple drug allergies.

I have diagnosed myself with Celiac’s Disease.

Someone stole my benzo/opiate prescription.

I’m allergic to Paracetamol.

All 5 of my children have ADHD, my latest partner has PTSD, and I need something stronger for my back pain.

My GP said I needed to go to ED. so I drove myself straight down.

The doctors have done every test possible, yet they still can’t find what’s wrong with me.

 

 

[Total: 48    Average: 3.2/5]

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mm

Andrew Hull

Andrew works in Emergency Care, and enjoys the more humorous side of his work. He believes you cannot survive emergency medicine without a warped sense of humour.

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